BEST & WORST HORROR/CULT FILMS OF 2003

[Scott W. Davis]

Well, 2004 is just a hop, skip and a jump away for the stateside HE crew. Everybody is falling all over themselves to make up their best of 2003 list.



Now, before I do, I need to mention something that will come as a surprise to you. Contrary to popular belief, I am not Superman. I know, I was as heartbroken to find this out as you. Still, I can't be everywhere at once. We get no screeners or passes here at HE (if some benevolent distributor wants to correct that, contact us at editor@horrorexpress.com). Sometimes, I have to go through extradordinary means to see foreign-based or smaller films. I have been saving up for a better computer and that has preventing me from stockpiling DVDs. I have a paying job that I need to take to suppliment my income, and sometimes that takes away from my first love - which of course is babbling on and on to you guys. Hence, I missed GOTHIKA, I missed THE EYE. My God, I even missed BUBBA HO-TEP! Also, some dates like the Dec. 30 release of BEYOND RE-ANIMATOR weren't very friendly, if you ask me. There, that takes care of my excuses, so when you see this list, compiled of 2003 films I saw on my own, for Horror Express and for CultCuts, remember that this will be a very partial list.



This is not a complete Best of 2003 list, which is why you don't see MASTER AND COMMANDER or MYSTIC RIVER anywhere. Rather, these are the best horror/cult films of 2003. I urge any of our other writers to join in.



Okay, here we go:



1. IDENTITY - It took in quite a haul for a horror film, over $ 50 million. Still, it seems like many people are overlooking this gem. This was a film that took me by complete surprise - an original, suspenseful shocker that kept me guessing. And no, I didn't see the big twist coming. So if anyone hasn't seen this, my lips are sealed. Just see the film.



2. MAY - No other film broke my heart as much as MAY. In the title role, Angela Bettis is nothing short of amazing. Most of the film plays like straight drama before taking a turn for the darkly comical and horrifically tragic. Lucky McKee's film is a triumph.



3. PHONE BOOTH - How do you make a film that spends almost its entire 81 minute running time in a phone booth entertaining? Well, you add lots of psychological depth to the main character, making him an anti-hero who shows a convincing dramatic progression (Great work, Colin!). And getting Larry Cohen to write couldn't hurt. Joel Schumacher, I forgive you. I wanted to throw some real horror ahead of this one on the list, but this is one of the best films of the year - easy!



4. CORPSES ARE FOREVER - Gotta stay pretty mum on this one, since a full review has yet to be published. Still, it has everything one could hope for if you want a good time at the movies. The filmmakers were actually plugging this on our forums waaay back and I paid little attention. Very sorry about that, because this is loads of fun. Starts like film noir, but by the end it has dabbled in everything from zombie epic, to government conspiracy, to action, detective yard, mad scientist film and even a little occult. Has an incredible cast of beloved performers including Richard Lynch, Brinke Stevens (thanks for the kind e-mail), Linnea Quigley (I still love you), the ubiquitous Debbie Rochon, Conrad Brooks and SLEEPAWAY CAMP's Felicia Rose. When this sucker goes wide (probably on video), you're going to love it!



5. HORROR - Speaking of Felissa Rose and the friends of Horror Express, Dante Tomaselli has given us a film that SHOULD be recognized as the heir apparent to SUSPIRIA. More terrifying visceral experience than straightforward narrative, this is one of the most unique and memorable horror films in a long time.



6. KILL BILL: VOLUME 1 - The first half of a two-part revenge epic, filled with bodies, backstories and zero morality. Not for everybody, but I loved it. Everyone who likes good old fashioned violence and mayhem should love this. Tarantino's ultimate homage filled with an excellent cast. At the center of this is Uma Thurman showing a detailed and enriching performance that goes beyond the standard heroine. Anyone who wants to be an action hero, male or female, should look at this performance which plays it much smarter than many of her peers.



7. LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING - It's not perfect like many claim, but my God it's close.



8. HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES - Was Rob Zombie's film the 70s all over again? Hell no, not when you're looking through Rob Zombie's psycho-delic colored glasses. This was however and immensely entertaining and energetic ride, one that will continue to garner die-hard fans and very vocal detractors.



9. 28 DAYS LATER - Danny Boyle's take on the zombie film was finally released in the U.S. this year, and it was worth the wait. Terrifying with excellent performances, moody atmmosphere and stylish effective homages to I AM LEGEND and DAY OF THE DEAD. Christopher Eccelston hasn't been this good since Boyle's dark comedy, SHALLOW GRAVE.



10. BINGE & PURGE (tie) - Okay gutmunching gore hounds, this is the new one to track down. Supermodels keep their youth and vitality by devouring human flesh and vomiting a weird chemical "sauce" on the exposed flesh. Gross? Definitiely. It's also a great satire, especially considering it was done for a few thousand bucks.



10. WRONG TURN (tie) - The return to 1970s grindhouse goodness that people almost missed. This one came out of nowhere. A surprisingly fun ride, which has a few missteps but still manages to be entertaining.



Honorable mention (in alphabetical order): AQUANOIDS, CABIN FEVER, THE CHRISTMAS SEASON MASSACRE, CITIZEN TOXIE: THE TOXIC AVENGER IV, FREEDY VS. JASON, MIMIC: SENTINEL, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, UNDERWORLD and WILLARD.





1. BLOOD BROTHERS - Never heard of it? Lucky bastard. Picture a film shot on an old camcorder, and barely in focus. Picture a film where two big and stupid guys kill people in uncreative ways, and constantly whine over and over again about how they're just upset that their little brother died year ago. Picture no plot developments besides this. Now picture this going on for just shy of two hours. Not only the worst film of the year, but one that would make my list of the worst films I've seen. And trust me, that's saying something.



2. HOUSE OF THE DEAD - Uwe Boll is horror's new clown prince. He has all the talent of Ed Wood and half the vision. Boll is now tossing around more video games to make into films, and has one wrapped - ALONE IN THE DARK. But what's really horrible is are they all going to be as completely inept as this?



3. DARKNESS FALLS - Emma Caulfield is wasted in this one, which blatantly rips off various horror films. But don't worry, they left all the scares out. Pathetic.



4. DREAMCATCHER - The book wasn't Stephen King's best, but it was muuuch better than this dumbed down embarassment that goes wrong in almost every way. For the first time in his career, Morgan Freeman is miscast and terrible. The complexities of playing a split personality by giving the evil one an unneccesary and very phony British accent. None of the storylines come together in a satisfactory way. The best thing in this one is Donnie Wahlberg and Lawrence Kasdan should send him a card every Christmas for that one.



5. FINAL DESTINATION 2 - Come on, guys! I can't be the only one to think this is a piece of shit. A tired retread of the original, which was only so-so to begin with. Yes, it has tons of gore, but that's it. A thoroughly unpleasant experience, and not in the good way.



Dishonorable mention: COLD CREEK MANOR, THE HULK, THE ORDER(a.k.a. THE SIN EATER), PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN: CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL, TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES.

Missing BUBBA HO-TEP, GOTHIKA and BEYOND RE-ANIMATOR (Dec. 30)



Best Acting in a Horror Film - Angela Bettis (MAY). Let's face it, great acting in horror 'aint common. One of many reasons this performance is amazing.



Best Acting in a Bad Film - Johnny Depp (PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN: CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL).



The "I Can't Believe It Didn't Suck" Award - (tie) FREDDY VS. JASON, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and WRONG TURN. Hey, when this many films catch you off-guard, you should spread the love.



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How off the mark am I? Comment in our FORUMS!

[DevilMan]

Hmmm, I've never heard of CORPSES ARE FORVER and BINGE & PURGE before. Any DVD's available for either of them?

In other indy film news, I hear a horror movie called LUCKY is pretty good. Something about a dog returning to life to help his master but it all turns bad. And DESMOND HARRINGTON's new film, LOVE OBJECT is said to be pretty good as well. It features a man, a sex doll, and multiple murders.

-Steve

[DevilMan]

You've already mentioned some of my picks for best films but here's what I enjoyed the most from 2003 (in no particular order)...

1. 28 Days Later - an excellent addition to the zombie genre

2. May - ah, such a sweet little girl with such sweet murderous hijinks

3. The Ring (remake) - love it or hate it, it was pretty darn good

4. Wrong Turn - cheezy but a definite taste of classic cannibal horror

5. The AniMatrix (this was from 2003, right?) - soooo much better than the sequel movies

6. Equilibrium - "Gun-Fu" to the absolute extreme

7. The Tick - the zaniest comic-to-television series ever made

8. House of 1000 Corpses - great stuff indeed and one of my favorites

9. Willard (remake) - no one but Crispin Glover could have pulled this off

10. Witch Hunter Robin - anime series with the sweetest goth girl you'll likely to ever meet

11. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake) - as good as the original and better than the sequels

12. Kill Bill Volume 1 - Asian film fans get a stroll down memory lane

I'll do the Asian films at a later date. I have a few I need to watch before getting the list together.

-Steve

[Scott W. Davis]

Both BINGE & PURGE and CORPSES ARE FOREVER are "micro-budget" films, meaning they typically cost less than the catering budget on even a moderately priced feature. I believe BINGE cost something around $4000 US. That one is currently available on DVD, via Sub Rosa who specializes in these things.

CORPSES is not yet available but probably will be sometime this year, meaning you may see it on next year's list as well. It has been screening at several festivals and screeners were sent to some publications. Again, I can't go into too much detail. Needless to say, I reviewed it for CultCut's next issue, which should be available soon. B)

[Caleb Goodwin]

The best indie film that I have seen this year is I'll Bury you Tomorrow. It is a micro budgeter also. It hasn't had any kind of release yet that I am aware of. I am not going to say very much about it cause I plan to review it, but I recommend hunting it down. You will not be dissappointed.

[Scott W. Davis]

Originally posted by Caleb Goodwin@Jan 5 2004, 09:18 PM
The best indie film that I have seen this year is I'll Bury you Tomorrow. It is a micro budgeter also. It hasn't had any kind of release yet that I am aware of. I am not going to say very much about it cause I plan to review it, but I recommend hunting it down. You will not be dissappointed.

Bring it on! I'd love to see more indie films reviewed here. And I've heard a little bit about I'LL BURY YOU TOMORROW from the people at CultCuts. I didn't read too much into it, I'm sorry to say. But I did hear it was very good.

[GoredMike]

How could you forget Undead to the list of the best?

[Scott W. Davis]

Originally posted by GoredMike@Jan 18 2004, 06:54 AM
How could you forget Undead to the list of the best?

Easy. It hasn't been released in the States yet. Word is we should finally be able to see it this year, and believe me, I've been waiting.
:D

[GoredMike]

You should not be dissapointed